Years back, a wager was placed unto me. Get a classified published in The Alibi’s “I Saw You.”

“I Saw You” is (or was) a classified category in our local free rag The Alibi. The idea is you saw someone, you didn’t talk to them, and you want to use the rag to find them. Typically, this is romantic in nature. When I get to it, not so much.

Once upon a time, I molested “I Saw You” weekly and was published weekly. Then I got bored. Here’s my favorite of the lot.

To the free range hippie lass with the half-dead/half-dread coif who mouthed “threesome” to me and my best gal at Sahara’s last Thursday. I’ll take you up on your offer once I get done sucking all the crap out of this electric eel’s ass because that sounds equally desirable. Thanks for ruining the fantasy for me.

I probably should note that I made these things up. That’s important to know. This didn’t actually happen. Totally fictitious.