The idea of “codependence” is interesting. It’s a weighted conclusion usually argued by the person with the most to lose in terms of emotional support. A relationship is strained, boundaries are attempted, motivations are guessed at, and still, one person can walk away much easier than the other (in many cases, not an absolute).

I feel it’s a disservice to peers to perpetuate a diagnosis of “codependence” where none exists, and it’s a detriment to a peer’s recovery and wellness mistakenly believing so when “codependence” does not exist.

Being told a lost relationship was codependent is often suggested by friends and providers as a “make the person feel better” mechanism to explain away more unilateral dependency. This is like pushing chocolate chip cookies filled with Exlax. No matter how delicious the cookies, you can only fool the person for a limited time and invariably you’re left with an extremely uncomfortable mess to clean up.