Tales of Clare Castellano may feel scatter shot and disorganized. The reality is life with Clare doesn’t follow any linear narrative beyond “This is how our love is,” no more than a time travel episode of The Next Generation follows a logical narrative beyond “It seems to be some sort of tachion subspace distortion.”

Just roll with it, don’t think too hard about it, and remember Next Gen rocks over all other Star Trek incarnations, exactly like the love Clare and I share rocks over everything romantic in the entire history of ever.

In loving memory of Clarissa Clare Nina Castellano


I think it was about two months into dating Clare (without actually dating.. a different tale) that she asked me THAT QUESTION, the QUESTION many men avoid like being asked the question, “How many donut holes can you cram up your keister before you start tasting fresh, warm Kripsy Kreme in the back of your throat?”

Clare asked of me…

Do you really love me?

And in typical jackassery mode, I replied . . .

Clare, I love you so much I’d walk 1000 miles barefoot through medical waste just to stand in your trash.

I soon learned this is a serious question from her, always followed by . . .

Why do you love me?

This became a game of ours. Every night before nodding off I’d have a new, original answer for her.

  • I love how you flip your hair in my face and say “Fine!”
  • I love you because you believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself.
  • I love you for seeing me for who I really.am.
  • I love how unapologetic you are about your Wigglebum.
  • I love you for thinikng “Blindboy & Stupid” are somehow hilarious.
  • I love how the two of us are effortless.

Of all of these, Clare’s two favorites are:

When you let me make you smile, I have a whole world to live in with you, and when you let me make you laugh, now I have an entire universe.

You love me simply for being me and I love you simply for being you.

It’s an effortless love. And thats not anything I’ve ever felt with a woman.

Pure joy.

I love you, Clare.

I love you more, Steve.

Okay, I’ll give you that one.