Okay, get this, lasses and lads. The reason I’m posting articles and photos about Clare Clarissa Nina Castellano is many fold. I’m grieving. I want others to know the Clare I know because very few had the opportunity to be around a truly happy Clare like I did. Mainly, though, I don’t want to forget the time I was gifted being with her, the things we did, the thoughts and conversations we had, the feelings we shared, and just how happy I  got to be. More than happy. Joyful.

Clare is gone. She died, and she died far too young. I’m not in some limbo of denial as has been levied by some in a collusive nonsense for which I avoid and nothing the best I can. Go away, unhappy misanthropes.

I’m archiving our life together because I don’t want to lose even one morsel of joy , fun, and happiness. And also the hardships, struggles, and heartaches. Our life. Archived.

So, this is the funny bit. I’ve been receiving more than a few emails, texts, FB messages, etc., letting me know how  “romantic” I am and how my Thoughtcrimes articles “really touched me.” There are a few “I wish I had a man in my life just once who loved me as much as you loved Clare.”

And then there are the fishing expeditions. “So, are you seeing anyone?” or “Would you like to get some coffee?” or  “Those photos from the Jemez Mountains are beautiful. I could use a guide if you have time” or, bluntly, “You’re cute and obviously single. We should f*** sometime.”

Please, don’t feel I’m hung up on Clare and will never move forward with my life. I’ve been doing just that, and these articles on Thoughtcrimes are integral to moving forward.

A really great song just came on. “Fragile Thing” by Big Country.

Love is a small and fragile thing
I spend a lot of cold nights missing you
Keep it your hands or let it take wing
I spend a lot of cold nights missing you

Lasses, thanks so kindly for the lovely notes and attention. It’s helping to mend a shattered heart for sure.

I don’t know what more to say than, “Thank you. Maybe is the best I can offer.”

Weird side effect, yeah?