There is an article on The Onion of the most perfect satirical jab at Facebook. Essentially, Facebook is a NSA or CIA or FBI or joint agency operation to get people to spy on themselves by providing demographic, personal, and painful information voluntarily, willingly, and knowingly to their Facebook page. Satire? Or omniscient brilliance?
I’ve never been a fan of giving away marketing information for free. This is being less nefarious in the purpose of Facebook, and it’s closer to the truth. There’s no need to convene inconvenient focus groups, there’s no need to pay for participants, there’s no need to let on that all this openly public publication of self is completely brainless. It’s my birthday. I just had a baby. We got married. My cat died. My other cat died. My new cat I got this morning is also dead. This is where I live. This is where I work. I’m now on vacation. Come on by and steal all my stuff.
The “Life Event” makes me giggle. I only found this creature this week, and if there are any niche details not covered in the standard profile fill-in-the-blanks, the “Life Event” will grab that data as well. If you retired, if you got a new job, if you got a gender reassignment procedure, well, the “Life Event” allows you to share this information with your friends (Facebook data-miners).
My name on Facebook is Sorgensen Bringleberry. I’m a woman. I was born sometime just after the American Civil War. Yay, as my bestest pal Derringer Wiltingtonburysteinson IX would say. Everything is yay.
Facebook will get nothing from me. Facebook will never get anything useful from my presence on Facebook. Facebook will only receive ridicule and spite from me. To wit, these are screen captures of my “Life Events” this week.
Take that, Facebook, you faceless data-mining monster.