A mother I had a conversation with this week was speaking about the sense of security she felt with the GPS tracking app she had tied into her son’s mobile phone. “I feel much better knowing that when Peter (her son) says he’s at John’s house, I can check the app and see that’s exactly where he is.”

You know what, lady? Peter is not a simpleton like you. While you’re checking on where Peter is, he’s cleverly left his phone at John’s house on his friend’s desk. Peter is actually down behind the Circle K with a bunch of college kids drinking malt liquor and passing around the sticky November 2011 edition of “Angelic & Anal.”

Feel secure in knowing where Peter’s phone is at all times.