My buddy Russ has this theory. It’s a cruel theory if aesthetic-judgment bothers you. If not, take it at face value, or don’t value it at all. I don’t have to explain myself to you.
So his theory is one he’s termed “Hot Girlfriend Leapfrog.” Curious what this means? I was, too, the first time he told me about it. Then I was morally outraged by its cruelty. Then I was moderately amused by its audacity. Then I was just bored because that’s the way things go with Russ. In any case . . .
See? He’s cruel. But he’s my friend not yours and I don’t have to defend him to you.
Now, he’s been keeping tabs on the last fifteen years of my dating history, and he’s always been a very bright young man who is now over 50 (ha! you’re old!), and try as I might want to argue away his theory, there is an inkling of legitimacy in his observations . . . although cruel might be his theory, there’s something more disturbing about a man who watches with data-specific intrigue another man’s dating history for fifteen years.
I’m not going to hazard a binary observation of my own because if I’m with a girl it’s because in many ways I find her beautiful. Russ did call earlier saying, “Is it two or three girlfriends since Carlee?”
Ha! Idiot. It’s been five. Or six. See how I covered my arse there? I rock.