ACT ONE

ME;
My depression sucks. I feel like shit.

MISGUIDED IGNORANT WELLWISHER:
You just have to think of all the things you’re grateful for and you’ll feel better. What are you grateful for?

ME:
I’m grateful I don’t have a cricket bat in hand because your face looks like a piñata.

MISGUIDED IGNORANT WELLWISHER:
What?

ME:
What?