Lamenting to Diane, “I can’t quite seem to get beyond the very tangible feeling being in love with Clare. It’s frustrating and knackering.”
Diane replied, “Then don’t. You’ve learned to grieve loss in healthy ways. Nothing says ‘moving forward’ means abandoning your past. You still love your mom just as much, seven years after losing her, yes? Someone will receive your love again in a different way and just as strongly felt.”
This is good awareness. Jawing with my buddy Mat, his hope is I take what I learned with Clare and carry her gift with me for future relationships. His hope is I also keep at heart that I didn’t jump into a sexual relationship with Clare, I took all the time in the world to know her first.
I’ve got someone in mind I’d enjoy the opportunity to know.
And like hell am I going to reckless as in the past to fill a void with greater emptiness. Shit like is lonely and potentially bipolar mania triggering. Who needs that shit?