The conversation needed to happen. I don’t enjoy cats, I’m strongly critical of woke censorship, I don’t play video games, I prefer spontaneity and not scheduling, I adore sunshine, and to me Disney is as distasteful as a steamy Walmart Parking Lot Burrito. The ideological disparity is obvious and striking, all reasons enough never to date.

Her reply: Opposites attract.

My reply: I’m taking up performance magic and I’m working on a trick that makes you disappear and then reappear three years later in a shallow grave as a skeleton.

So now she’s not so interested. Clever lass.