I had this girl who opened every phone conversation with, “What are you doing?” I can only assume she didn’t have a watch or ready access to a clock, for if she were to look at said timepiece, she could easily answer for herself. 3:30 pm? I’m working at work. 11:30 pm? I’m sleeping in bed. 8:13 am? I’m on the pot squeezing out last night’s chimichanga. Easy. Don’t ask what I’m doing. Look at your f’ing Timex.