I just got done trimming annoying long eyebrow hairs that I didn’t have as a kid. It’s not like there’s some biological imperative for these longer hairs that sprouted in response to me living on the slopes of an ashy active volcano. All that happened is I got older.

It’s stupid. Why does the human body do this stuff?

I feel the same about late onset back hair. What’s the point of this, body of mine? I didn’t become so disillusioned with humankind that I moved north to live amongst harp seals, caribou, and polar bears. Did you mistakenly believe somehow I moved to the highest northern latitudes, I’m colder, and I need additional fur to protect against a new frigid arctic habitat?

No, all that happened is I got older and now I have additional body grooming to attend to. Stupid.

Right, and I also went full male pattern baldness. Where’s the logic in losing hair where its useful (to protect my noggin against the elements) and growing pointless hair where its wasted?