There was this kid in grade school who hated the TV show Magnum P.I. If anyone liked Magnum P.I., he would kick these people in the nuts vigorously and frequently. He encouraged his friends to kick these people in the nuts vigorously and frequently.

Magnum P.I. was a horrible TV show and only stupid people like a horrible TV show. Their nuts needed to be kicked vigorously and frequently as penance of enjoying Magnum P.I. And the teachers who also hated Magnum P.I. turned a blind eye to the vigorous and frequent kicking of nuts.

He and his friends kicked Magnum P.I. fans in the nuts vigorously and frequently starting in 4th grade. They continued kicking people in the nuts vigorously and frequently in 5th grade, then 6th grade, and all the way through 7th grade.

And then in 8th grade he became student council president, the year Magnum P.I. ended its last season. With no more Magnum P.I. to watch on TV, our new student council president felt assured and satisfied Magnum P.I. fans were good and ready to be fans of a new TV show, and he immediately called for an end to kicking people in the nuts vigorously and frequently, that the time had come for everyone to get along, to let ruptured nutsack bygones be ruptured nutsack bygones.

That kid was funny to me.

Moral of the parable: You can’t kick people in the nuts for four years and then expect them to love you and forget about being kicked in the nuts for four years.