Last evening at a socialization shindig a lass friend gushed over the Barbie flick and recommended we all see the film.

I related my lad friend saw the movie with his girlfriend and recommended we avoid the film because the movie hates on men big time.

My lass friend retorted, “Then your friend is an idiot! There should be more movies about taking down the patriarchy!”

Do I need to point out the irony of what she said?

Beth Ellen McKinney: Im still not seeing how that movie hates on men or the patriarchy. The message seemed to be entirely different.

Steve THUNDERGUNS Bringe: Beth Ellen McKinney I suppose it takes being a man with male sensibilities.

Beth Ellen McKinney: Steve Thunderguns Bringe What part of the movie seemed to be an attack on your values?

Steve THUNDERGUNS Bringe: Beth Ellen McKinney the part in Attack of the Clones where Anakin complains about hating sand especially when it gets in his bumcrack and left nostril. And then in Attack of the Back to 5g3 Future Marty shares an incestuous kiss with his protomom. Yuk. And finally, in Attack of the Smurfs with Thyroid Issues, I was so confused as to why paper cut out corporate America was mining something called “unobtanium” on “Pandora.” There must be a useful woke message in there but I guess that’s one for future scholars to piece together. Which part reinforces your hatred of men?

BBeth Ellen McKinney the part where Anakin complains about hating sand especially when it gets in his bumcrack and left nostril. And then Marty shares an incestuous kiss with his protomom. Yuk. And finally, I was so confused as to why paper cut out corporate America was mining something called “unobtanium” on “Pandora.” There must be a useful woke message in there but I guess that’s one for future scholars to piece together. Which part reinforces your hatred of men?

Steve THUNDERGUNS Bringe: Beth Ellen McKinney words and syllables make my head all hurty so I drawed you a pixyer instead.

Beth Ellen McKinney: Steve Thunderguns Bringe I’m guessing you didn’t see the movie.

Beth Ellen McKinney I don’t want you to lose sleep guessing whether I saw the Barbie Rides Ken Like a Malibu Dumb Pony movie or not … but I just got done with a Hitchcock festival (you know, good movies and American classics free of rampant wokitude nonsense), and because Hitchcock (you know, a good filmmaker) was the unchallenged Master of Suspense, I’m going to leave you in suspense for a spell as to whether I saw Barbie Barbecues Toxic Masculinity the Movie. Just for a while. Don’t beg me for spoilers because I do adore the big reveal. Prepare for at least three sleepless nights.

Beth Ellen McKinney: I would be very interested in hearing what aspect of the movie is « woke, » but I see you are not interested in having that discussion. I’ll move on.

Steve THUNDERGUNS Bringe:

Beth Ellen McKinney although flattered that you are very interested in me and my views, I’ll confess I’ve heard these words before from so many women and the number of times I’ve had my dummy man heart ripped from my chest … oceans of tears have I cried over having my hopes shredded time and again.

There was this one girl who I got really close with and we decided to make a life together as Magician and Lovely Assistant. While practicing our signature magic trick things didn’t go quite right and for every breath in my chest I’m not certain where exactly it went awry. The trick is I would make her disappear and then reappear three years later in a shallow grave as a skeleton. To this day I’m still flummoxed. And heartbroken.

It’s the same old story with me. No matter how much effort I put into a pairing, it seems all my romantic relationships end in ten Hefty bags at the bottom of a quarry.

But, you know, I’ve got a good feeling about you being very interested in me and my views. Do you enjoy magic and quarries?