I stood outside the polling place on the phone with my friend Mat. When an American walked up to enter the building I would say, in a tone and volume loud enough to be heard, one of these three things:

  • Mat, in the Constitution it’s guaranteed you can vote at least twice. In some states like New Mexico you can vote three times.
  • Mat, are you sure I can vote? I’m only pretending to be an American.
  • Mat, there’s no way to check how many mail-in and drop off ballots you submit. Don’t worry so much.

The reactions were also one of three:

  • No reaction at all.
  • A deep scowl with eye contact, with accompanying comments like “fooking cheater” and “I hope you get caught.” This was the most common reaction … thankfully.
  • A knowing nod with eye contact, sometimes accompanied by a hand gesture like a thumbs up. This reaction was very very very very very very very rare … thankfully.

Childish, yes? Interesting, yes? Revealing, yes?

When emotions are high and real stakes are on the line, this is the best time to troll your fellow Americans in the real world.