Once, I elected to go out for a beer with some of Clare’s former colleagues from Molina, and once was enough. One lass was intent on whipping out her dick to compare length and girth with me (she had a serious crush on my Sweet Clare-intine), and others were plainly supermegaultra-obnoxious, which saved me the hassle of being the most obnoxious person in the room. What a luxury that was.

With what could be best described as a Pride Parade for the Obnoxious, what got me fairly steamed up was a woman at the end of the table was complaining about her boyfriend having texted her four times that day, chastising this man who was willing to be with her out of attraction or love or lust or lack of options. Heck, if Clare and I texted only four times a day, it would have been sure sign we were never in everlasting love. By the by, U2 did a great cover of Everlasting Love. I’ll pin it to the end of this blog article.

I was getting irritated, the way she was speaking about how “needy” her boyfriend was and how “he would just have to wait until she was good and ready to talk to him.” Really? Gazing upon her and her attitude, she was lucky a guy would even talk to her, much less let her touch him in any other way than a limp handshake… which reminds me of that …. that’s another tale which will conclude in ethics violations and losing a license … later.

Clare knew I was getting torqued up by this woman disrespecting her boyfriend, and she was accustomed to me making snarky little comments audible enough for the snark to project beyond merely under my breath. What did I snark that evening?

“Talk to me now or lose me forever.”

Boom, I got a huge guffaw and giggle out of Clare. Just being sarcastic. Of course, Clare knew that because I had been quite so acerbic was out of character, so she took my hand and led me to a game that was kind of like horseshoes and kind of like this 70s lawn game called “Tic Tac Throw” or “Throw the Bean Bags on the Roof and Then Go to the Park Instead.”

She won. All three games.

There is a reminder of a song by Morrissey called “That’s How People Grow Up” (also tagged at the end) that follows the theme of there are worse things than never having a boyfriend or girlfriend. Example lyrics:

I was driving my car
I crashed and broke my spine
So, yes, there are things worse in life than never being someone’s sweetie

So this former co-worker of Clare’s sure was on her way to a karmic lesson learned, because I cut her brake lines and sawed halfway through her tie rods… only jokes. Truth told, if you have someone in your life who loves you, take nothing for granted, treasure every moment, and don’t bitch when your boyfriend texts a measly four times ALL DAY. She did not impress me.

Granted, perhaps her boyfriend lacked all the qualities of effortless love that fountained freely from Clare. Still , her dismissive, disrespectful, disparaging attitude made me feel she hadn’t earned the missive, respectful, paraging attention of the boyfriend she was making out to be a pest to her co-workers.

La chiene, c’est vrai.

Talk to me now or lose me forever. Clare Clarissa Nina Castellano, you were my best audience, blinded by the appreciation only rapture and love can exude. Or nitrous oxide. Or autoerotic asphyxiation. All good options.

More wonderful words for Clare Clarissa Nina Castellano at DBSA Albuquerque.org