This past weekend my best gal was curious about my ex-wife, primarily to see if my kid looks like her at all (verdict: No). The perfect venue for our light internet stalking was Facebook, where I was pleasantly greeted by her adoring jackal-grin and the face of “Time Has Been Kinder To Me Than Her.” She looks way ancient, like the Crypt Keeper’s great-great-great-grandmother.

I couldn’t help but notice this post from her dad (my ex-father in law), confused by international communication and relegated to using Facebook to connect with his daughter.

All this is endearing, a father’s love for his daughter and such. Then, all this is hilarious. Then, all this is troubling. Then, all this is terrifying. Then, all this is totally full-on hilarious again.

Great Great Great Granny Cryptella boasted often “My dad is the equivalent of a four star general as a civilian”, a claim of just how amazing is his professional importance and prowess.

His employer?

The National Security Agency (NSA).

It seems “Caller ID” is not part of the NSA’s vast and far-reaching intelligence gathering arsenal.

Do you feel safer already?