Realization #24,156: The best kind of best gal is the lass where you can’t get all the reasons she’s incredible out fast enough instead of defending those few reasons she’s your best gal.

Realization #24157: There is zero reason to volunteer if you’re not having fun doing so.

Realization #24158: I spilled a ten gallon water jerry can in the kitchen last night and it’s slippery as heck in here. Just trying to get into the fridge is like I’m chasing after a leaky cow.

Realization #24159: Selfies need to be taken by the shortest person in the group to avoid these adorable Munchkins from appearing as disembodied heads in the snap.

Realization #24160: I can keep on claiming “she’s not my type”, but with my continued lack of romantic success, I don’t believe I actually know what my type is, nor do I believe I have the luxury of having a type any longer.

Realization #24161: Every hardship is an opportunity for education and understanding.

Realization #24162: The opening credits for Euro Trip are inspired.

Realization #24163: Do you know what’s cool about Jesus? He can turn water into wine without the need for alchemy or a supercollider.