Steve's Thoughtcrimes

Doubleplusgood Newspeak

My Seasonal Affective Disorder is a Real Drag this Time of Year

Something needs to be done about my Seasonal Affective Disorder and how insufferably cheerful and gratingly pleasant I get during summertime. Not imposing my loved ones just because I’m joyful must be leaving a huge void in their heart. There must be a med to drag me into even a mild doldrum, requiring the people in my life the burden of having to be on suicide watch 24/7.

I hardly want to spend any time at all in my bed beneath my Blanket Fortress. And this unforced smile is so easy and uplifting. What a chore this is. For myself, for everone.

I’m so sorry for feeling happy and productive once again. I feel selfish to the core.

Forgive me for this and I’ll forgive you for eating the whole goddam bag of Cheetos. Those were for everyone, you realize.


  1. I saw a partial roadkill this week that turned this clown upside down, but I think I’ll join you in the sunshine until the Seattle blanket rolls back in!

    • Stevethink

      July 8, 2018 at 5:01 pm

      Clare and I were seriously considering a move to Seattle. Proof? The Seahawks are my football team now. And I hate football.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.