It amazes me how my Cheetos evaporate when Hugh comes by. The whole bag. The whole goddam bag.

I took time today to acquire a blood sample for DNA sequencing, attempting to isolate the gene that compels Hugh to eat my whole goddam bag of Cheetos when he comes by.

Perhaps I took a larger blood sample than necessary,  and perhaps acquired the sample unconventionally by hacking off his violating hand while still in my bag of Cheetos.

As a scientist, true intellectual revolution comes with pushing the envelope of conventional research protocols.

Buying a whole bag of Cheetos lasts a month or longer now. Pure research to applied research has always been my modus operandi.

Care for some Cheetos? Care taking part in my human testing research?