I had a sinus infection flying to Vegas a couple of weeks ago. I was stuck with a middle seat because I checked in late and on either side of me I had a couple of gabby women who refused to sit next to each other to talk. “I like the window.” “I like the aisle.” So they yammered over me, with my sinus infection and an ever growing headache. The girl to my right got on the subject of birth control. “I’m on the pill. I’ve never been on the pill. It’s making me crazy. Can you believe that a pill can make you crazy?”

I’d had enough I turned to her and said, “You know, honey, you don’t need contraception. You’ve got your personality.” Effective! They shut up after that.