I’ve been noticing weird hair in weird places lately. On my own body. I’m no Weinstein, baby baby.
It’s hair in weird places that I never had when I was younger. A stray hair on my left ear lobe that if I neglect gets all Rapunzel long. Nose hair is a constant battle between this Norelco appliance and … well, the out of control nose hair. It’s like I’m growing an entire rain forest in my nostrils to replace the rapid worldwide deforestation to have cow fields or parade grounds or soccer pitches or something. And my eyebrows, if not groomed, start looking like very thick horny caterpillars just aching for me to fall into slumber so they can shag in relative privacy.
My back has become furrier. Not like Chewabacca or Winnie the Pooh, but definitely there is hair there that was not there when I was younger. Further south… enough said, as I sit and ponder. It’s not like I need extra cushioning for a more luxurious sitting experience.
If all this additional hair could be chalked up to me needing extra warmth as I grow in years, then I’d be okay with the random follicle growth. However, the top of my dome is becoming entirely barren of follicles, so that theory is straight out the door, thanks.
The point being is, if I didn’t need this hair when I was younger, what makes my body believe I need the extra hair now?
I think I’m going to go shave some cats. It’ll set the world right again, at least in terms of hair.