I make the statement “Your cat is so cute, may I pet it?” and I get the go ahead with smiles and beaming proud cat owner.

I make the statement “Your cat is so cute, may I pet it really hard with a hammer?” and suddenly comparisons to Hitler and Trump and some guy named “Euclid” who I guess loves cats as much as I replace smiles and beaming.

Cat owners are so fickle and unpredictable.