There are a number of posts on Facebook and Thoughtcrimes that garner “That better not be about me” commentary.

One of my favorites is a two month delayed reaction from a peer who two months prior I suppose told me about his propensity for bonking prostitutes. Naturally, this didn’t register because I was more taken by the severely debilitating effect his exclusive use of “medical cannabis” was having on his behavior. To wit, he was getting way into the ionosphere high on paranoia, which is VERY common for folks with bipolar who smoke weed.

So, two months on, I post a goofy meme of a dead woman in the trunk of a car (the still was from Mad Men) with the wording “The best part of having a prostitute die on you is the second hour is free.”

Let me cut in here really briefly to explain my use of Facebook and Thoughtcrimes. They are repositories for stray thoughts to use in stand up routines and my book (I have deal with a REAL publisher, not some vanity press nonsense). In fact, this little blog article is now going in the book.

Anyhow, this peer saw the meme posted to Facebook, and within seconds of me posting the meme, I get a text “I TOLD YOU THAT IN PRIVATE!” And I’m thinking, “Did I steal a creepy joke from him? That doesn’t sound like me. I overfloweth with original creepy thoughts almost continuously.”

No, his umbrage is two months on he saw a meme of mine with a creepy joke about a prostitute, and of course it was about him. Again, the paranoia he was exhibiting two months prior from smoking weed far overshadowed any of his actual spoken content. To accuse me two months on of taking a potshot at him about a conversation I never committed to memory . . . whose point is he proving? So many professional publications linking marijuana usage by folks with bipolar and psychosis. Boom! Line up for a case study, provider researchers!

Get this. Facebook and Thoughtcrimes serve the same purpose for me:

1.) To archive stray thoughts for potential stand up material.

2.) To archive expanded observations for inclusion in my book.

So, in a very “You brought it on yourself” manner, yes, this article is absolutely about you Ro(redacted) S(redacted)z(redacted). No need for paranoia this time. I’m doing you the favor of explicitly stating “This article is 100% about you and your paranoia.”

You’re welcome.