I feel people who tell me I just don’t understand cats and that cats show love in a different way than humans are very much apologists for creatures trying to mimic as best as possible human emotions for their own selfish needs.

This is very much like the ex-wife, who, like a cat, also shit in a box under the bathroom sink. And, like a cat, the ex-wife tried to cover up her shit, but only superficially lacking any sincerity. And, like a cat, I’m certain the ex-wife would have feasted upon my deceased body if I was to die first, much like she feasted upon my dignity and confidence in life.

Wow. All cats must have been owned and raised by the ex-wife before she unleashed them from hell upon humankind, shortly after her hostile takeover of the Plane of All Mortal Evil from the clutches of the Lord of All Mortal Evil.

Cats. You know?