It’s an ongoing and hard-won monitoring of my bipolar symptoms in the afternath of a major manic cracking. The constant worry is falling into the dreadful bipolar depression; I’m becoming more confident I’ve moved through that potentially destructive phase of manic episode recovery intact. It’s now keeping a tight monitoring with a hypervigilant roof on any lingering manic symptoms.
So here’s a rough ragged edge of succumbing to a manic impulsivity and being concurrently aware of it. I’m lying here realizing I’m not who I’m meant to be with. A parametaquasi-post-manic shadow with built in remorse.
It’s noteworthy that I’m as aware of any symptomatic behavioral patterns so quickly after a significant manic episode. I’ll temper the remorse with a mild pat on the back for the hard work I’ve accomplished in discovering awareness through manic symptomatic behavior.
The ongoing journaling of this episode in real time is good for my WRAP.