Frustrated Muggles say unto peers, “You have (insert mental health diagnosis). Why won’t you go to a support group? I’ll even go with you. Don’t you understand I’m trying to help you?”
And frustrated peers say unto Muggles, “I don’t want your help yet. I didn’t ask for your help yet. Don’t you understand I’m not ready for a support group and I’m not ready for your help yet?”
The moral of the story:
- It’s wonderful when peers are so fortunate to have friends and families to stick by them, to back them up, to be there for peers in the hardest of times. Honestly. It’s beyond wonderful. So many peers go through this on their own.
- It’s also wonderful that every peer gets there in their own time, and it’s not that we peers don’t want your help, we only need to understand more about ourselves before we’re ready to ask for help. There is no rushing this evolution of self. We peers all get there in our own time.
- It isn’t being in denial. It isn’t being ungrateful. It’s our recovery journey with no particular destination and no particular time we have to get there. We only hope you’ll have the supreme patience to wait for us wherever we end up going.
I’ll tell you from my own experience that I barely have patience for myself sometimes in my recovery journey, and I can completely feel how frustrating it is for my loved ones to have even more patience for me while I twist and turn trying to get on the right road. I do understand the frustration and I am always grateful for those folks who’ve stuck by me all this time.
Families and friends, don’t give up on the peers you love. With your patience, we’ll wholeheartedly accept your hand when it is the right time for us to ask for help. You are appreciated, even if we don’t yet know how to express our gratitude for you.