Steve's Thoughtcrimes

Doubleplusgood Newspeak

Cuddle Group, may I ask a serious yet embarrassing question?

At our Monday DBSA Albuquerque support group, I learned of a platonic “Cuddle Group.” From what I gather,the Cuddle Group (also called the Cuddle Puddle) is a place for close, physical human contact without romantic complication or expectation.

It seems interesting, although I have only one question:

What is the protocol on erections?

It’s bound to happen, some mahogony introducing itself into the Puddle. It’s a natural physiological reaction to close physical contact. It happens.

So what’s the protocol? Do you excuse yourself to the hall and look at lesbian porn starring Janet Reno, Rosie O’Donnell, and a greasy howler monkey until the “oak goes timber”, or do you roll on your stomach and have the Puddle dogpile on your midrift until all blood is cut off from your three lower extremeties?

I need the knowledge on this, as well as the dude : dudette ratio. With an unresolved erection protocol, it’s got the potential for a crowded hallway or a very stabby dogpile.

I need the knowledge.

2 Comments

  1. Good question. I await a response.

    • Stevethink

      March 31, 2018 at 1:11 am

      Lisa, I can’t think of any other support group where this is a necessary bylaw. I await an answer I mostly likely won’t get. I’ll get an order of protection instead.

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